We Have Landed

Rocky Horror: 20091106

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:10:45 -0800

Okay...I am a HUGE fan of vulgaris interruptus...all right, all right, I made that phrase up, get off me! Vulgaris interruptus refers to the insertion of the "F" word into other words...it's quite a handy tool to have in your communication arsenal. That having been said, the fact that younguns check this blog from time to time will cause me to temper my vulgaris interruptus enthusiasm and instead share that tonight's performance of Rocky Horror was fan-freakin-tastic....sorry, make that FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC!! The cast was AWESOME (Dennis Tong rocked it as Frank N Furter), the music was spot on...errr, spot-freakin-on, our tiaras sparkled like Edward Cullen in the mid-day sun, and Sonic served up some seriously tasty cherry limeades. A better night could not be bought for all the fishnet stockings on Transsexual, Transylvania.

Accompanying me at tonight's tiara-filled soiree were my two nieces, Taylor and Jordan, their cousin, Chelsea, two of Tay's friends, Rachel and Katie, my wonderful friend Jennie and her cousin Christina, and, of course, my sister Gail. Watching the girls dance the Time Warp was the highlight of the evening for me...I tried to post the video, but it was too long...somebody bend the time/space continuum RIGHT NOW!!

So just trust me on this: do yourself a favor and get your happy ass down to the Maverick Theatre in Fullerton lickety-freakin-split. You'll have a blast, you'll laugh, you'll dance, and your inner sweet transvestite will be fully illuminated by the light over at the Frankenstein place. Enjoy!

Rose tint my world...keep me safe from my trouble and pain,

Auntie Jodi

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Mamma Mia: 20090418

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 17:32:31 -0700

People, let's remember that spandex is a privilege, not a right! A crowd of 59 of us got together to go see Mamma Mia at the Pantages and it was FANTASTIC! Sometimes the touring companies don't put on shows equal to the sit-down companies shows, but these guys knocked it out of the park...everyone in the audience was singing and clapping...I enjoyed this show every bit as much as the shows I saw in Las Vegas and London.

A few members of the cast were in the lobby collecting money for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS and we were fortunate enough to have John Hemphill (Sam Carmichael) agree to take a picture with the Tiara Girls. He was gracious and charming and made for a spectacular Sam Carmichael (and sings ever so much better than Pierce Brosnan). Taking a picture with him was the perfect ending to a perfect afternoon.

A word about my shirt: while I agree that a crystal-ed skull with an eye-patch and a sword running through it does not scream Mamma Mia, it is SOOO me and I LOVE it! Jordan tried to mug me for it, but I fought her off. Youth and skill are no match for age and treachery.

And that's it! If you get a chance to see the show, I'd suggest you grab it. You won't be sorry, and you'll get an renewed appreciation for spandex. Who wouldn't want that? Enjoy!

ABBA rules!

With love and a chorus line of boys dancing in swim fins,

JODI

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My AWESOME Birthday Shin Digs: 20090321

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 11:19:48 -0700

This was the best birthday EVER!! Two shin digs, more love than you can wrap your head around, Hostess snack cakes, and vodka....a serious recipe for success if ever there was one!

The day started with breakfast in bed (Gail is a great cooker, by the way...if you ever get a chance to stay in this hotel, you should grab it!), and then it was off to the nail shop. All my sisters in one place gettin' prettified...does it get better than having your feet and legs massaged with warmed lotion and hot river rocks while hanging out with your sisters? I think not. Perhaps the only possible topper was the Happy Birthday Serenade performed in Korean. Perfect Nails is an all-service shop, that's for damn sure!!

Okay, to be fair, there was a second topper: the newest inductee into the Sisterhood, the lovely Joanie Bonfiglio (she's in the yellow top) gave me the gift that keeps on giving, a gallon-sized jug of Tito's Handmade Vodka. In case you have not yet picked up on it, Joanie's awesomeness exceeds all superlatives and she will be at all subsequent Sisterhood events. She has also offered to be my designated driver when I head off to Betty Ford.....she's a keeper!!

Pizza and toes and vodka, oh my!!

The evening's festitives were ultra-fabulous too. Greg arrived with two boxes under his arm and told me they both needed to go into the freezer. Want to guess what the boxes contained? Go ahead, guess...give up? Okay, I'll tell you....the first box was bon bons...YUM!. The second box was Flat Iron Steaks from Omaha Steaks. The man brought me frozen beef!! Do I have THE most fabulous friends in the world, or what?!?!?!

Appetizers galore were provided by Michael and Erin Rodriguez (aka Fox Trot One and The Wife, respectively), so folks had plenty in their bellies before Uncle Tito made his entrance. We ate, we drank, we played LCR...we had a blast! Then Michael produced the piece de resistance (get your mind out of the gutter!); he hooked up his Wii and we bowled, played tennis, and boxed...well, tried to box, anyway. I am the least athletic human in all of creation. I am the anti-Michael Phelps. Tragic, but true.

In the end, I had the best birthday I've ever had. I got exactly what I wanted: a rockin' great time with the folks I love that included great food and a semi-copious amount of vodka. Birthdays are AWESOME!!!

With love, laughter, friendship, exquisite toe nails, frozen beef, and a gallon of Tito's,

JODI

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The Phantom of the Opera: 20090124

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 22:22:00 -0800

Today I saw The Phantom of the Opera for the tenth time. Yes, you read that correctly...ten times. Today's extravaganza was actually a Pfun Pfairy event and I had a crowd of 59 in attendance at today's performance. Michael Rodriguez, cutie pie extraordinaire, manned up and bravely accompanied Jordan, Taylor, and me to the Pantages Theatre. The show itself was good, and on the Tiara Scale of one to five, five being best, we rated it four tiaras.

The actor who sang the role of Raoul wasn't my favorite; he was singing it almost like he was learning the part. The actor who played the Phantom, however, was outstanding....make the OUTSTANDING. You know there's something amiss with the show when you're rooting for the Phantom to win Christine's heart. Rooting for the Phantom is the equivalent of rooting for the Sheriff of Nottingham...no one does that! That I was pulling for the Phantom should give you some indication of how amazingly well the role was played. Kudos to you, talented masked man!!

Usually the line of the day originates from the show itself, but not this time. No, this time the line of day was proffered by the one, the only Diane Whitmer (whom you are required to love and adore as profoundly as I do; it's a Jodi Rule, deal with it). Are you ready? Here it is: at the conclusion of intermission, Diane conspiratorially whispered to me, "Soooo, is a Michael a boyfriend?" I giggled and replied, "Ummm, no, he's married and I am not that lucky!" Diane responded...wait for it...wait for it...."Oh, no, honey, I didn't mean you, I meant the girls." There was a serious implied 'dumb ass' at the end of her sentence. I laughed so hard I actually snorted. Lights down, music up, second act commencing, and I snorted. That was the funniest interaction I have had in recent memory, and a million thanks go to Diane for giving me a genuine laugh amidst all the craziness of the last few weeks. DIANE WHITMER ROCKS!

It was a good day all the way around: the company was stellar, the show was entertaining, the rain held off, traffic was only moderately diabolical, and I made the discovery that I can eat a taco whilst driving. Does it get better than that? I just don't think so!!

With love, tiaras, and Taco Bell,

Auntie Jodi (aka The Pfun Pfairy)

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Laguna Cliffs Marriott: 20081212

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:29:48 -0800

The twin terrors, Rachael and Dawn, invited me to join them for the year-end holiday luncheon at their new property, the Laguna Cliffs Marriott in Dana Point. The property is GORGEOUS, the view is beyond compare, and the atmosphere is fun and upscale without being the least bit stuffy. In short, this is a lovely place to spend time!

Lunch was YUM-O! The chef who was carving the prime rib had the most charming French accent. He put a slice of beef on my plate and asked, "Would you care for ah-nothah?" I smiled and said, "Well, if I must." He very gallantly replied, "Of course you must! It is win-taahhh!" As if I need to beef up any more...it was sweet and charming (and the prime rib was delicious!), so I'm smiling and moving on.

I also met Tony, the most charming Big Man on Campus if ever there was one. Given that the poor guy was in a room filled with women and he was outnumbered 75 to 1, he held up remarkably well. Kudos to Tony!

I also got to sit with Rae's girls who were universally warm and wonderful. We entered the ballroom as strangers and left as fast friends. These girls are fantastic, dynamic humans, and it's easy to see why Rachael was drawn to each of them. Keepers, the whole lot!

It was a fantastic afternoon; new friends were made, bellys got filled, the blessing of having a job in this economy was not lost on anyone, and a glorious time was had by all. Happy holidays, indeed!

With love and a fully stocked carving station,

JODI

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: 20081205

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 20:38:10 -0800

WE HAVE LANDED!! This year's pilgrimmage to our blog's namesake show was outstanding. We made seeing the performance a Pfun Pfairy event and had friends, neighbors, co-workers, and cohorts in the audience with us. In total, we were a crowd of 28 and occupied half of the Maverick Theater.

The show was goofy and fantastic (as always). We all got a charge out of it when Voldar, Martian villian extraordinaire (who was exceptionally saucy and sexy this year...bigger weapon, indeed!) ad libbed, "What's next? Is it not enough that we speak perfect English? Are we now to attend inane plays and wear pretty, pretty princess tiaras?!?!?!" You can't buy moments like that, and that is precisely why we keep coming back year after year after year.

The entire cast was wonderful. The kids were mesmerized and the grown ups were delighted. There really isn't a better show to see at the start of the holiday season. Do yourself a favor: buy some tickets and enjoy! Happy holidays!!

With love, Martian and otherwise,

Auntie Jodi

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Celine Dion: 20081129

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:57:05 -0800

The Phyllis and I went to the Honda Center to see Celine Dion. About 15,000 other people did the same thing, but what the hell, I’m sure she knew that we were there and that’s all that matters, right?

I am not now nor have I ever been a huge Celine fan, but I have got to give that girl kudos. She puts on one hell of a show. Singing, dancing, video screens…everything the modern diva needs to take her show on the road, she brought it, and more (that having been said, it’s still Aerosmith and Bad Company songs I’m singin’ in the shower).

We were fortunate enough to be in the Black & Decker suite, so our seats were fan-freakin-tastic (thank you, Miss Vicki). We shared the suite with some very fun folks; Lanie and I were mesmerized by the shoes Celine wore with every outfit, Eiji and I kept checking the score of the USC v Notre Dame game (38 – 3…..SCORCH!), and Paline was her general sweet self…if you’ve got to the share the company suite, these are the folks with whom to share it!

With love and Kathy Griffin’s voice echoing ‘Rene Angelil’ in my head,

JODI

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Halloween 2008

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:51:17 -0800

Ain't no Halloween like a Tetonian Halloween!

As pretty much everyone knows, Halloween is the biggest Tetonian event of the year. This year we mixed it up a little and instead of doing a baked potato bar, Theresa made a ton and a half of homemade ziti. If you've never had Theresa's ziti, I pity you. Ambrosia fit for the G-ds, Theresa's ziti is.

So, this year the beautiful Taylor and her posse came by to say hi and show off their fabulous costumes. Taylor dressed as Artemis. Why Artemis? So she could make grand, sweeping gestures with her hands and say, "I am reminded of the hunt!" Taylor's beau, the handsome Craig, dressed as Julius Caesar and the rest of the motley crew rocked it with everything from superheroes to princesses. Ah, to be 15 again....

Another tidbit that made this year different was my introduction of Tito's Handmade Vodka to the Tetonians. If you've never tried it, you really need to make a point of getting your hands on some (BevMo, baybeees!). Smooth and delish...after the first sip, we agreed that Tito's was to be the neighborhood beverage of choice. After the first bottle, we renamed ourselves St. Tito's Parish and dubbed the maker St. Tito, Patron Saint of Libations. So, our street is Teton Way and we refer to ourselves as Tetonians. Tetonians/Tito-nians?!?!? Coincidence? I THINK NOT! Sometimes the stars align and it all comes together exactly as it should (and it doesn't hurt any that Tito himself is smokin'...check out the picture!).

We're already working on a theme for next year...my vote was that we all come as paparazzi and photograph everyone who comes by to trick or treat. If you've got any ideas, bring 'em on!!

For the love of vodka,

JOD

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Bat Boy, The Musical: 20081025

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 10:45:53 -0700

SA-WEET WOUNDED JESUS!!! Where to begin? In a cave many miles to the south, obviously!! On Saturday night the Snookies and I went to see Bat Boy: The Musical at the Costa Mesa Civic Playhouse. They knocked it out of the park! But I'm getting ahead of myself...please hold...

This outing was a Bat Boy make-up date from last week. Last week, the girls and I went to see Bat Boy in San Pedro. What we didn't know up front was that it was the London version of the show; the songs were different, the dialogue wasn't the same...all in all, it wasn't the Bat Boy we have come to know and love. A make up performance was definitely required; hence, our foray into Costa Mesa the following week-end to see the same show yet again. So, we're a little addicted...get off us! We might have to go all Bat Boy on your ass...errr, neck...if you don't!

Our evening started off with dinner at Uncle Pete's Cafe in Westminster. Going to Uncle Pete's is like going to your favorite auntie's house for dinner. Delish food, huge quantities, staff that's like family, and awesome prices...in short, you can't beat it with a stick. The Snookies dad, Bob, got the unbridled pleasure of dining with us. (Editor's note: This was the second week-end in a row that a man has bought the three of us dinner. I think it's the tiaras. They emanante some sort of big magic, obviously. It's that or the men are mesmerized as we glitter like diamonds in the mid-day sun; either way, it's workin' for me!!)

With full tummys and a heightened sense of anticipation, we headed off to the theater. The first thing we noticed was the very dark art hanging on the walls. Someone who was operating at the mercy of a fevered imagination obviously created the pieces. Dark, and perfect for the production at hand. The second thing we noticed was that the actor who had played Dr. Parker in the previous week's production was in the audience. We were tickled with ourselves for recognizing him (and he was kind enough to take a picture of the three of us...a scholar AND a gentleman...who knew?!?!?).

Then the show started and we were off. From the opening number to the standing ovation at the end, it was fantastic. Fan-freakin-tastic! It was show we were hoping for; the actors were spot on, voices were strong, and the entire audience loved it. The only tough thing for Taylor, Jordan, and me was NOT singing along. We've memorized every word to every song and we sing 'em loud and proud. Seriously, I am a legend in my own shower. I sing it for all I'm worth; sadly, I'm utterly tone deaf, but in my head I sound just like Meredith Parker on the soundtrack. You should hear my "Three Bedroom House"; it's unlike anything you've heard before (and, tragically for all of us, that's not even remotely a good thing).

At the conclusion of the show, the cast was kind enough to allow us to take a few photographs. I fear we may have frightened them with our obsequious fawning, but they muscled up, carried on, and smiled bravely. Thanks to all of them for giving us the show we were craving. We will definitely be back!

Speaking of going back, the show is closing Halloween week-end. If anyone is interested in going to the Saturday night performance, let me know, and I shall cause it to happen. I'm not ashamed to see Bat Boy three week-ends in a row. To paraphrase Edward Cullen, "it's my brand of heroin," and I've got my wicked little addiction all the way on.

What else is there to say but "Hold me, Bat Boy!!"? Not a bloody thing (no pun intended!), so I shall conclude my musings with love, fangs, and not denying my beast inside.

Dance with me, darling,

JODI

PS Remember, don't kill Mrs. Taylor's kids!!

PPS It must be noted that a mountain is no place to raise cows. Take heed!

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Wicked: 20080927

nobody@vox.com(Auntie Jodi) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 12:00:25 -0700

Today, 136 honorary Oz-ians and I went to see Wicked at the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood. As always, the show was fantastic (is it more correct to say Oz-tastic?) and a wonderful time was had by all. (A crowd of 137 attending a single event; that’s the biggest triumph for the Pfun Pfairy so far! GO PFUN PFAIRY!!)

Side note: I just found out that Megan Hilty is coming back and reprising the role of Glinda (the “Ga” is silent) once her run in 9-to-5 is complete….I’m thinking this may mean one more trip to see Wicked before it leaves town on January 11^th…anybody interested?

Thanks to some stellar driving directions from Mike Garza, we arrived at the theatre with plenty of time to spare. We actually got to take the photographs we didn’t have time to take the last time we saw the show. Check out my beautiful nieces in their super sparkle-y tiaras and the glowing faces of Cookie’s handsome sons. You can’t buy happiness like that.

Here is my recipe for creating the perfect day: take one turkey and provolone sandwich, add a soda in a commemorative Wicked cup, sprinkle liberally with love, friendship, and Pfun Pfairy-ness, add a heapin’ helping of Wicked and a side order of Good’N’Plentys, and mix thoroughly. If the end result doesn’t leave you changed for the better, you are in obvious need of some serious pharmaceutical intervention.

With love, green-ness clear to the bone, heart, brains, courage, and all things Oz-ian,

JODI

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